“I can’t do that, my boyfriend will be mad.” Tip #2

Tip #2 for Preventing Eating Disorders In Our Daughters.

You know how you’re not suppose to say never or always? Well, pretty much EVERYONE I see that has an ED is a PEOPLE PLEASER. If you or our girls are taught to please others and not think of their needs, they never learn to make decisions that will help them. Of course, we want to teach them to be considerate of others and kind people.

One example of being a people pleaser is a client I saw, let’s call her Elle. She was 23 and had a research job. She was not married and did not have children. She was miserable in her job and wanted to sky dive all over the world. She had a good degree from a good college. Her parents were on her about keeping her good job and not wasting her life.

She felt so torn and guilty. HER being and intuition was screaming at her to do what she would most enjoy. Because she didn’t learn to trust herself but to please her parents, she ate a LOT. When we are miserable in our life, we often will use food to deal with that misery. She did go do her climbing, had time to grow up a bit and decided to go to med school. She made a decision that was right for HER and her path in life. She learned to enjoy life and not sit and eat:)

Another example would be a client, Linda, that wanted to spend money to further her education. Her boyfriend wanted her to save money because he wanted to go travel the world. They both were 30. She felt so GUILTY that this made her boyfriend sad and angry so she decided to just do what her boyfriend wanted. She is now 38 with 2 children and finds it hard to go back to school. She and her boyfriend broke up long ago… During this time she continued to be bulimic to deal with her feelings of regret and rage.

Lets teach our daughters to take care of themselves first and then help out others. We can help out others so much better that way. Like the oxygen mask on the airplane.

If you want to learn how to not people please and teach that to a girl in your life, join us at IEDI.

Sue

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